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Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Intentions. & Goals for 2016

This past month has been a month of cutting down on the stuffs that I own! I have successfully gotten rid of a lot of cluttering junk infiltrating my small room. I'm definitely on the finishing end of piecing my room together. I've gotten rid of a lot of broken items, items I don't care for and paper and trash and yet I feel like my room still looks messy.

The next step towards the minimalism journey is to get rid of my books, but I need to read through them before discarding. Afterwards, I am aiming to give my books away to my co-worker(s). Possibly also movies, because I have about 4 shelves filled with movies and TV shows, and I don't feel fine with that. I mean, it might be fine...who knows. Bu I definitely have a lot of books, and in 2016, my goal is go paper less and get a Kindle! BUT FIRST, I need to open up a credit card, I also need to apply for TOFEL. My intentions was to take the TOFEL in December....which might still be possible if I apply for the credit card first week of December, then I can pick a date end of Dec to take the test. I also need to be more informed about the potential unis I aim to attend in this city - which isn't nearly as exciting as I imagined it would be. I just can't wait to finish the first 2 years of uni and transfer the hell outta here! I have no intentions of growing old in this city, let alone have a career. This city ain't for me!

So with the intent to get up and move, I think the most practical solution is to live minimally, so it's easy to just pack up and go!

I also want to get about 30 pounds lighter in 2016. And I aim to get there by going more plant-based. I can't promise that I'll be solely plants friendly in reference to my diet, because sometimes life just gets in your way and I won't ALWAYS have time to wake up and prepare a good lunch. Not using that as an excuse, just thinking realistically, as I am not always the most prepared person.

I think I'm gonna focus on reading more books next year. This year's been kind of slacking. Somewhere in like mid-July, I set my books goals to '12 books by end of the year'. So far I've only read....4 books, and I've been juggling reading 3 or 4 different books at a time. What ends up happening is they all get put on the back-burner because there's always something more interesting that catches my attention.

Another thing I want to get back into is sketching and become more attuned with my creative side. So a few days ago, I bought a few sketch pencils and a small notebook and I intend to get back into sketching things. I'm not entirely enthralled with the whole 'color art therapy' malarkey.

The next goal is to save up money. I've been attempting to save at least 40% of my savings, and I follow the Dave Ramsey envelope system. It's much more productive for me to have the set amount of money I can spend, with me at all times. Otherwise, I'll keep going to the ATM and withdrawing and before I know it, all my funds are gone! The envelope system really keeps me in track, and I also have a little envelope titled 'Deposit' which is for me to put back in the bank at the end of the month! This month has been pretty successful, I think it's also in part because my income is a lot higher than my previous job, so savings has become more fluid. That and the fact that aiming to become a minimalist has really got me questioning things before I buy it. There are times when I just absolutely WANT to get something, but then I bring myself down on a sane level and decide to give it some time before deciding if it's something I really want!

I think 2016's going to be really great!

Currently listening to:
Major Lazer - Lean On (feat. MO & DJ Snake)

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Just Busy Living Life.

Two months into my job, and a month and a half til 2015 is done!

For the past year or so (maybe about a year and a half), I've been really interested in learning more about minimalism as well as veganism! Thus far, I have not achieved any of those goals, like sticking a label as such. I did, however, spend the day decluttering and tossed out 3 bags. 1 bag for 'donations', 1 bag of trash and 1 bag of recyclables. As for veganism, I haven't really gone full force, but I have been trying to eat more veg friendly. Usually for lunch I just take a really simple veg wrap comprised of 3 types of bell peppers, black pepper, and Daiya cheese in a wrap. Very yummy! But I feel like I should include more veggies in my life. I think on Tuesday morning I will make some lentils and rice for lunch or dinner (seeing as my shift ends at 10pm). I'm trying to be more veg friendly, but somehow creating a menu is such a damn struggle. It doesn't help that I'm a picky eater. I mean, I'm completely fine with eating my wraps, but it's bound to make me feel bored one day.

I can't remember where I had written my resolutions for 2015. Oh well.

My goal for 2016 is cut down the amount of shit I own. Also to read through all my books on my bookshelf that are just collecting dust!

There's so many things I want to have time for. I just want to live this simple, balanced, zen life. I think I am heading in the right direction. Sometimes I think I get too stuck in my head and end up making myself stressed, which leads to me getting a migraine, as it so happened today. I think I just need to get out of living with my parents. Rent a small room and just chill. Ultimately, I really admire and strive to be like one of those people who live out of a backpack. I don't really feel like I'm 'attached' to any material things, but I mean, I'm not gonna toss out books I haven't read. I also want to buy a Kindle.

I also used to have a notebook collection. I have since thrown away and or given away a good chunk of that collection. I have always wanted to have a collection, but nothing sticks. I think my wanting to become minimalist far outweighs the desire to become a collector of sorts.

As for my job, it's pretty chill. I have schedules floating around in my head. But I think I've developed a sort of 'time-phobia'. I don't know if that's a thing, but I just get so caught up with time. Like I'll start my shift and I'll say '10 hours before going home, minus 1 hour break'. And then I actively think of activities to do, such as watching a movie to preoccupy my 'vacant' times and I get super unhappy if someone or something wastes my time. Is this a thing? I should Google it.

Speaking of downsizing, I cut off my tablet bill and the company called to ask why. A simple answer is that I'm paying too much money for something I hardly use. I'm actually thinking of selling my tablet and swap it out for a Kindle.

I do enjoy reading physical books, but I don't like to carry big loads around, especially not to work.

Anyway, it's almost bed time. I haven't had a lot of 'down time' as of late, but I'm trying to make it work.

Currently listening to:
'How to Waste a Moment' - James Vincent McMorrow
(very good song)

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Time Consuming Life.

Okay, so I'm trying to keep more in pace with my blog, and just randomly felt like writing a post, even though I'm supposed to be asleep like 17 minutes ago.

Anyway, so it's November! Halloween is done, except for me! I'm going to celebrate by watching 1 Halloween themed/horror movie every night of this month! At least that'll give me something to look forward to from work! I'm also trying to manage my time more efficiently, because it seems that my day is gone in a blink of an eye! The 1 thing I dislike about my job is that I'm always stuck to and from going home and going to work during peak times. So usually I end up wasting more time trying to get places. So we all have 24 hours a day right. A huge chunk of my day is gone because I work for 10 hours, plus a break, so technically 9 hours. But usually during lunch I'm running around trying to get my food and then get to the park and sit, and so it takes 20 minutes to get lunch, and I end up having only about 20 to 30 minutes for lunch and then I'm rushing back to work. So I finish work around 6:30, and by the time I've finished getting changed it's 6:40. Since I work at the Supermarket, we need to get signed out and bags checked before leaving the premises. So the actual time that I'm at the bus station is closer to 7. Then if I missed the bus, I need to waste 10 to 15 minutes for the next bus, and by that time, I'm getting irritated, because this time is getting divided into my free time. So the bus comes and usually when I'm on the bus, I have intentions of reading my book or watching a movie, but I just end up doing some nonsense or don't feel up to it and end up listening to music. So when I step off the bus, it's around 7:30, Sometimes I won't feel like eating at home, and I don't usually feel like getting home and cooking dinner, so I'll just buy something to eat (and it's usually the same thing). So when I FINALLY get home, it's about 8. So when I'm home, I try to unwind, but all I can think about is the fact that I only have 2 and a half hours before I need to go to sleep. Like seriously, what kind of nonsense schedule is this? And when I get home, all I feel like doing is relaxing and watching YouTube videos. I don't want to think about being a responsible human and studying for my TOFEL or reading or 'being productive'. Well I tried today, because I'm trying to keep up with the whole Halloween in November thing. This whole time dilemma is beginning to agitate me. And when I wake up in the morning, it's a rush. If I wanted to wake up earlier, I'd have to sleep even earlier, which seems like bullshit. I kind of preferred working the closing shift. But closing is annoying. A lot of cleaning and it made my hand coarse. Sigh.

And usually I won't compromise that much on my sleep, because if I don't get enough sleep, I will feel pissed off when I wake up.

It's almost 11. I should sleep soon, I only have 7 1/2 hours before waking up and returning to my time consuming job. Maybe I should find another job? One that isn't 10 hours long. My old job was great. It was only 9 hours, including a break. I'd start at 9 and finish at 6. The only shitty part was the boss didn't want to pay the wages fairly. His excuse is always that money is tight. Well, that ain't my problem dude.

Anyway, I really should hit the hay. 7 and a half hours. Fucking seriously.

Also, I watched "R.L. Stine's Monsterville: Cabinet of Souls. Not bad. Very cliched, but I like cliched. Reminds me of my childhood.

Seriously going to go to sleep now. I can already imagine the pissed offness I'm going to feel if I delay this any longer.

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Update: On Life & Le Job.

So what I had originally planned for today was to wake up feeling super excited cos it's HALLOWEEN! Instead, it's 12pm right now, I'm wearing my lovely Chucky shirt feeling a bit lethargic. I'm trying to enjoy my day off, but feeling a bit of anxiety over the fact that I need to go back to work tomorrow and won't have another day off until NEXT Saturday. (Which is a bit of a bummer). I don't know how I feel about work yet. It's almost been 2 months of me working there, and it's pretty meh. Like I don't really care about it, and the prospect of going back kind of bores me. However, I like the location and most of the people are friendly and my bosses are decent people and friendly as well! It's just....I mean, nobody wants to wake up and go work at a menial job right? There's a higher purpose for us all, and I just gotta battle with that and remind myself why I'm working. I don't hate my job, but I don't love my job, and I definitely do not like the idea of complacency. I also realized (yet again) that my library books are overdue. I could have sworn that I thought they were due in a few days. Damn. I need to stop spending money on fines. My room's just a gigantic mess, and I need to buy more cereal. I also need to learn how to manage my money better, but I'm not kicking myself or anything, because I told myself at the beginning of October that it would just be a fun spending money month and I would refocus and regroup budgeting in November. I'm kind of excited to get back into budgeting. I tried it in September, using the Dave Ramsey method, but I don't think I wrote about it on my blog (well to be honest, I haven't been blogging a lot have I?) I bought these really cute lavender envelopes and just divided my income into individual sachets and put all my cash into a bigger bag, instead of a conventional wallet, because the envelopes don't fit. However, I saw this really cute dark blue passport holder from Kikki K that I might get this month and use as a wallet instead.

So other changes... I started to actually follow through with my idea of bringing a packed lunch to work. I haven't done it everyday, and it's a bit of a struggle because I'm such a lazy person. But if I start work at 12, instead of at 8:30am, I will use the morning to prep for my lunch and eat a big breakfast and just be happy overall. But I really love making my very simple quesadilla and it fits perfectly in my small lunch container. (I still need to get a lunch bag though and I saw a really cute one that someone had from Vera Bradley, and they also sell a very basic black one at the supermarket that I might get). The quesadilla is just hassle free. I just cute a quarter of yellow, red and green bell pepper, sprinkle some lemon pepper and black pepper. Mix it well, and cook on a heated skillet with about 2 tablespoons of olive oil. Cook over medium heat for like 2 to 3 minutes and set aside. Then I get my quesadilla and heat them with some nondairy butter (so you get that lovely golden brown, crispiness on your wraps). After the quesadillas have goldened, I put some Daiya shredded cheese and then the peppers, and VOILA! It's so yummy and basic and not time consuming. However, I've been wanting to explore a bit more with my cooking, so I need to plan around my minimal time after work.

During October, since I've been settling into work, I haven't had time to really focus my energy on prepping for Halloween (although ironically I have today off, and today is Halloween) so I've decided to celebrate Halloween in November. By celebrate, I mean watch a horror movie every day of the month in Nov. I don't have any plans for today, besides chill at home. But chill at home isn't turning out to be very relaxing, so I might go for a walk soon just to clear my mind and get out of this sleepiness mode that I'm in. There's also some guys at the house doing some house repair, which is not peaceful. I still have to eat my sweet potatoes (which I'm so excited about, because I like to eat sweet potatoes during this time of the season). I forgot my train of thought...

I have realized that I've stopped reading like I used to. I even tried to maintain a 'reading schedule' (an idea I copied from some article I read on a website...lifehack I believe). The idea is to wake up and before doing anything else, read 20 pages of a book. Optionally, you can also read 20 pages before you head off to sleep. Except that I end up waking up at 6:30 am and then start getting ready for work, which I only have an hour and if I do read 20 pages that's about half an hour gone. So I can't shower or prepare breakfast.

Usually my mornings comprise of:

6:30 - Wake up and go turn on the heater to take a shower
6:35 - Prepare breakfast, which is usually my maple syrup something organic corn flakes with some almond-rice milk, if I feel a bit hungrier, I'll eat some toast as well
6:40 - Shower
6:50 - Get out of shower, and dry off using the fan
And then I'll sit and watch a bit of YouTube and hope I can air dry my hair, but I usually can't, so around 7:20ish, I resort to heat drying my hair, which sucks. Then I get to the bus stop around 7:40 and there's this massive line and I end up rolling my eyes. And about 98% of the time, I end up being early to work, which annoys me a bit.

I was thinking of waking up early, but then I'd have to sleep earlier, which means I have less time to unwind.

So I go to work at 8:30 (starting time) and work til 6:30pm and then I need to get home ASAP, but there's a bloody long ass queue because everybody ELSE is going home as well. So it's all rather a bullshit time frame is what I'm trying to say. So I waste about an hour trying to get back home cos it's rush hour, and if there's traffic (GOD FUCKING FORBID), I end up getting home closer to 8 o clock. So if I wanted to wake up at like 6 or 5 am, I'd have to just eat dinner and sleep and what the fuck kind of life is that.



Okay. I need to take a breather, because I'm starting to feel pissed off.

Monday, October 19, 2015

Perplexity by Standards of Society.

So I had begun to write about my experience at my new job one month in (update from last post) but then just decided to stop for whatever reason (was probably running some errands).

Well, a few things have happened in the last four days. Mainly, that I've been pissed off.

I want to complain about my job, because I feel like they are being incredibly unfair, but that literally does nothing. Except waste my time, and I am way too busy to give two shits about something I can't undo. So I accept it. Rather begrudgingly.

But that's not really what I want to talk about, because my current employment is not a definitive state. It's only temporary and one day I'm not gonna care about the moments that I was unhappy at a crap job, where people don't really value you. I plan to be actually be MORE than my job. So yes. Let's move on.

The other day as I was walking to work (as I often do, since I always arrive half an hour early) and listening to my music was  "what's the point in all this?" I looked up and all I saw were bloody skyscrapers. Like...who gives a shit? We see all these polished places and men and women looking important. But really....why does it matter? It's especially more perplexing since I am often inundated with men in suits. Or rather collared shirts. They are the literal embodiment of white collar (they even wear white collared the nth degree of literal). I just look at them, and they're not particularly happy or respectful or nice or cheery. In fact, they look rather miserable or have this sort of 'superiority' about them. For example, I'll say 'hi' to some and most of the time, I get an acknowledgment, but sometimes these literal white collars (men and women - although the women prefer to wear dresses, and no, they aren't white) just skim past me. Like I'm a void. A giant void. So it got me thinking "is that what I want?"

You see, my goal is to go back to school. I graduated high school in 2011 and I had no real intention of going to school in the near future (meaning 1 to 2 years after graduation). I still don't view university as a guidepost for success, because that's such a bullshit concept. Have you see the rate of dissatisfaction of people who get employment after graduation? You spend your whole life just 'learning' through the education system, and by the end of it, you get throw into this whole 'higher education' nonsense. What the fuck is HIGHER EDUCATION? I'd think that was enlightenment, but I don't think most places will be impressed with 'enlightened one' as a description in a resume. All these terms are so bogus. You can be educated by yourself. What do you think 'self help' is for, or even just books in general? You have CEOs and entrepreneurs, hell even presidents writing books. They aren't just for decor, ya know.

Anyway, so yes. As I was looking at skyscrapers in this polluted city, I can't help but wonder if that's where my future lies.

Feeling: Perplexed
Currently reading: "The Psychopath Test" by Jon Ronson

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Update: Got a job

Gonna start my job tomorrow. Been MIA from blogging because I've been busy going to interviews and such, and then starting mid-week, I have work, with different schedules, so not sure about that. I am awaiting replies from 2 other jobs, which I'm 80% confident that I got the job! I mean, I did the best I could. I was confident, I was flexible, and I was willing! Anyway, so today was sort of the 'last day of freedom' even though I got a day off on Sunday (which seems odd since I start tomorrow, ah well). So lately, I've been really into manifestation and one person I really love to watch on YouTube is Valerie Love! I just feel inspired watching her video!

I've been neglecting reading lately though, and I feel a bit crap about that, especially since I need to achieve my minute goal of 12 books. Am also super happy that Mad Max is out on DVD! Yippie!

I don't really have much to say, just thought I'd update. I also need to apply for credit card soon to apply for my exams I need to take for my uni applications! Anyway, gonna go now, feeling sleepy and need to get prepared for tomorrow...even though my job starts at noon!

Currently listening to:

'Sparks' - Hilary Duff

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Trying to Manifest Good Vibes.

I had written a blog about 'carpe diem'-ing on Monday afternoon, but it seems I forgot to post it. As it so happens, I did indeed go on an 'adventure' of sorts Tuesday afternoon! I went to explore Wan Chai, and though in retrospect it was slightly bleak as I went to see the Convention centre, it was a needed break away from my anxiety. Now it's Wednesday afternoon, and I am back in my destinated area of the library, reading, The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson (compelling read, and I do implore you to watch his TED talk as well). Tomorrow is going to be the 'opening' (or whatever the proper word is that I can't recall) of The Maze Runner. Am very excited to go watch. I mean, I wasn't a huge fan of the first movie, but it was definitely better than The Giver (which was a horrible adaptation into film, might I add). Maze Runner was intriguing and I liked the fact that the only Asian character hasn't died off. Definitely worth a visit in the cinema tomorrow.

So far, have applied to 8 jobs. Replies: 0. I even messaged someone about a job offer, and he still declined (though somewhat nicely), saying they'd already hired someone. Bloody great.

In an effort to console my brokenness (being unemployed) I sought refuge in the library. I think I definitely feel a hell of a lot better after reading Mr. Ronson's book (am currently on the second chapter). But being logical, I thought I should take a break from reading and focus on job hunting (bleh).

Well....I had plans of being diligent in job hunting, but it seems I've ended up updating my blog! *Shrugs* I don't feel an inch of remorse. If job hunting actually yielded a result, I might be more keen universe! But I'm working on not focusing on negativity, in order to manifest good results. Law of attraction apparently (although they are probably right). But I got to thinking...if law of attraction means you can 'magically' manifest things into your life, does that mean that you can change fate? Like if your fate was to be homeless, yet you magically manifested a house, does that mean the cards have changed? Perhaps I'm being daft.

Anyway, I've got to get back to dreary job hunting. Am not looking forward to it, just the thought makes me sleepy. Ugh.

Currently reading:
The Psychopath Test - Jon Ronson