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Friday, August 28, 2015

Game Plan.

I need to get down to the nitty gritty. Am currently unemployed, because ex-boss decided to 'let [me] go" (am I Elsa?) because of monetary issues. Whatever, was thinking of leaving, so good for him. Although I have inkling he is lying. Assuming is more personal. I seem to always get laid off for personal issues, am hoping people stop being so sensitive all the damn time. Geez.

Anyway, that's neither here nor there, my main priority now is to have a game plan for my future. The primary concern being....find new job (less boring?) and then take TOFEL (because school needs TOFEL as entrance requirement; boo).

Current plan:

1. Lose at least 30 pounds in the coming few months
2. Find part time job
3. 'Study' for TOFEL
4. Apply for credit card (to pay for TOFEL)
5. Enroll in uni for next Fall
6. Graduate before becoming hag

Time is tick-tocking, and I've wasted 2 months placing stickers on cups for an ungrateful ice cream company. Yeesh. Will possibly update later. Having minor headache, but am happy because I'm in the library.

Listening to: Corinne Bailey Rae - Paris Nights/New York Mornings
Feeling: Slightly irritated and minor headaches, also sniffling from horrid cold (bleh!)
Currently reading: Bridget Jones's Diary (am almost done; horray!)

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Cravings.

Am currently craving a pizza. Specifically from Pizza Hut, the one with the thousand island dressing. I loveeee HOT pizza, fresh out the oven, SO GOOD. I actually used work at the pizza place, and we'd have this pizza called 'chicken tikka pizza'. It was the best thing ever, right out the oven. And since I worked there, my co-workers and I would make a small 14'' pizza and share it together. I also like pizza with bell peppers, and I can already see some people cringing at my combination. It's definitely not a 'traditional' pizza, but then again, I like pineapple on my pizza too. Everyone has preferences! Something else I'm craving is definitely a lovely, proper thick, kebab. I also have specifics for that. My go to kebab place in town is definitely Tava Quick, usually in the afternoon. It's lovely too because there's hardly ever anyone there, so I get to truly enjoy my lovely doner roll. I also like the chicken burger from Triple O's. Will probably go to one of the above tomorrow to celebrate paid half-day at work! HOORAH FOR THE WEEKEND!

Currently reading: Bridget Jones's Diary
To read: Kafka 'The Trail' & 'Are You Smart Enough to Work at Google'
Listening to: Corinne Bailey Rae - Like A Star

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Am currently feeling under the weather. Been sniffling all day, and yesterday, I was having a horrid time because my throat felt super dry (which is a sure sign that I've caught the flu). Been trying to minimize damage by taking some Panadol. Took 2 pills today, am currently still sniffling and getting that 'ill-voice'; nasally and coughing. Only redeeming thought is that it's Wednesday today, and Friday is half-day at work, so whoop dee doo, going to spend my long weekend under my duvet, possibly reading and or getting through the billions of movies that I bought and have yet to watch (same with books...am sort of a hoarder).

Should really get on to actually APPLY for second job...but am aiming to quit current job at end of month. I don't want to quit, but I am not gonna stick around when my salary keeps getting cut because we have nothing to do. I feel like that should have been explained before I agreed to come work here. Just saying. Now I'm going to have a bad rep sheet, because I keep quitting. Cannot wait for career. Will need to take TOFEL in coming months, in order to apply for schools for next Fall. Need to keep self motivated. Am also petrified of seeing creepy crawly in room. I made sure to eat dinner at dinner table with family.

I came home early, in hopes of becoming productive. Instead, it's 10pm, am snuggled up in bed, updating my blog, listening to Jamie Cullum, and have put off job hunting. Am also wanting to edit video for YouTube channel, haven't got around to it. Needless to say, am feeling like lazy slob. But I do want to continue reading 'Bridget Jones's Diary' and tried finding my copy of 'The Witches' by Roald Dahl. Seemed to have misplaced it, bloody hell! Still have copy of 'Matilda' on shelf. Where the hell did I misplace it? Perhaps I will purge more of my room this weekend? I am wondering what I should do Friday afternoon, after work. Don't really want to come home super early, as I will just be unproductive sloth, and procrastinate and watch YouTube videos, instead of doing things to advance life. Am also able to enjoy a bit of leisure activity because dad gave me some pocket money (that I have filed under 'leisure cash' - trying the Dave Ramsey's envelope system). Should really stop procrastinating and do something productive. Am not really excited for work, but am thankful for employment. HOW THE HELL DID I CATCH A COLD? Not happy camper about that. Seems my blog is getting written in point form (possible influence from Bridget Jones).
\
I will be heading to the local bookstore to look for 'Princess Diaries'. I used to lovvvee the series, but stopped short at around book 7 or 8, because by that time I was in high school, and our library didn't have the entire collection for a few years. So gradually lost interest, and I'm currently in the state of not being really into YA books.

Started reading 'Are You Smart Enough to Work at Google?' (Google the author, as am too lazy to pull out book from bag). The first pages that I read was really intriguing. Naturally, my 'to-read list' is ever-expanding, but I feel like I shouldn't keep starting new novels, and pushing current reads to the corner, especially since most are public library books, which means they have deadlines.

Okay, will attempt to be productive for next 2 hours til bedtime....or I'll just end up watching book hauls on YouTube. Ugh. Why can't a job just magically land on my lap (it's because I'm a small fry, and thus have no recognition from powerful people who have capabilities of giving me fun job).
Feeling frustrated.

Books to read:

1. Finish 'Bridget Jones's Diary' this week
2. Start 'The Trail'
3. Also delve more into 'Are You Smart Enough to Work at Google'

Am on the way to completing book challenge goals! Whoo-hoo!

Monday, August 24, 2015

Mosquitoes Everywhere!

10:47pm on a Monday night, and finally getting to cozy up in my bed! Been having a 'busy' evening, trying to clean up my room - yet again - and assemble my door hook that I got from Ikea. But, I am a happy camper, because it's all set up and displayed on the back of my door, holding up several of my handbags, AWAY from cluttering the floor! Actually, for the past few days, I've been cleaning. Ever since Saturday, since I saw a freaking RAT scurrying in my room. Have I mentioned this before? About the rat situation, because I sure as hell have been broadcasting it on Facebook. ON TOP OF THAT, there were 3 mosquitoes just buzzing around my room. And I tried to rid of them to no avail. Thankfully, my dad came to the rescue, and am currently mosquito free. I think they might be attracted to the remnants of blood (stench?) from the lizard/gecko that exploded in my AC dust like a week ago. Don't worry, my mom hired someone to clean it out, and as far as I'm concerned, I DO NOT smell the god-awful stench of blood vaporizing my tiny room. The only downfall about not having my bags cluttering the floor of my room is that now, I have a perfect view of the peeling walls. We seriously need to get that repainted and replastered. But, as PER USUAL, money is tight. Plus, I'm not sure how much plastering and such costs. AND I've been meaning to get an exterminator to come over to my house and give a run-through. I'm actually quite surprised that I've been less OCD about cleaning, than I was last year. I have this ritual: once or twice a year, I go HAM and get rid of clothes, rearrange my wardrobe, toss out unnecessary items. I guess, kind of my version of a 'Spring' clean - except usually not in Spring. Although...I did clean the floor 4 times the other day, because I was slightly petrified and disgusted with a mouse in my house, and am currently forming a nightly cleaning ritual to ensure that we are RAT-FREE in this household.

On a better note, my blog is 8 years old! Well it's not the 'anniversary' or anything, because I honestly cannot be bothered to check my first date (maybe will check later).

Anyway, back on topic. All this cleaning has really got me excited about minimalism again! I still find that I have wayyy too many clothes in my closet, especially since I only wear a handful of them. I have about 3 outfits for work, which consists of: 2 grey t-shirts from Uniqlo, 1 purple t-shirt from Giordano, that I bought ages about, 4 pairs of yoga pants and a few pairs of socks (I used to have a lot more socks, they seem to all have disappeared). On the weekend I also wear the same outfit: my favorite stripped skirt with a blue and white 'dressy/casual' top from Uniqlo, or a grey with white polka dot (really flowy) top. Occassionally, I'll add another top, but the skirt stays the same, unless it's dirty - which happened this weekend, because of the whole humidity ordeal, so I just wore my plain black skirt (that is, according to my mom, too loose and frayed). I actually thought of revamping my wardrobe this Summer, I even made an entire list of 'essentials' and how to pair them. But, as we all know.... money situations. Oh well, I guess I'll have to practice patience. I should also note that I should stop tempting myself by going to bookstores and HMV, because 80% of the time, there will be something there that I'll be interested in picking up. I made the mistake today and picked up the new edition of Marie Claire (is that supposed to be italicized?). The only reason I got it was because Miley was on it, and yes I do like Miley Cyrus.

So yeah, I think I should reconsider the whole minimalism thing. Just realized there's a whole lotta things to get done on my 'to-do' list...well long term goals wise.

1. Fix walls
2. Hire exterminator
3. Get mosquito repellent
4. Get AC cleaner
5. Get a new wardrobe
6, Get bigger bookshelf and or single shelf to hang up in my room
7. Get better and more comfy pillow (possibly mattress, but I am broke)

There's probably several more points I should add, but am currently unable to think. I actually am feeling quite sleepy...

OH I also forgot that I have book goals for this week. I've recently gotten a 'bookworm' kick again. Am super stoked!

1. Finish Bridget Jones's Diary 
2. Start and finish reading The Trail by Kafka

I have set myself a 'book goal' for this year: to finish 12 books. Okay, I kind of cheated. My original goal for this year was 50 books, but seeing as we are nearing September, it seems implausible.

Currently listening to Diana Krall.

Sunday, August 23, 2015

No Regrets.

Was having a conversation with a friend from work. I told him the only thing I currently regret is trusting whom I have chosen to trust, namely my employer, because currently I feel cheated. But that's not what this post is about. The point is, he told me to take it easy. But you see, taking it easy is the problem. Ever since I graduated in 2011, I've been 'taking it easy' and living quite a sedentary life - in relations to progressing career-wise. Just thinking about my current situation, it's kind of underwhelming, compared to all the potential I have. It's not too late. The only thing is, imagine how much I could have achieved in these past 4 years? But at the same time, these 4 years away were needed for me to find myself. I had a identity in high school, but not an identity I could stick with for high school. When I graduated, I had aspirations of becoming a writer, and enrolling into a journalism course in university. Slowly, as the years passed, and I started working in the food and beverage industry, I realized I really enjoyed working in a kitchen environment, and thought of pursuing a degree as a chef. Halfway between wanting that, and wanting to escape this town, I got more into the concept of veganism, and fell out of interest with going to culinary school. My current ambition - and probably my ambition all along - is ultimately become an entrepreneur. I feel I work best if I have my own creative liberty to do as I please. In the meantime, I wish to enroll into a International Hotel Management course, and focus on catering and events management. I have my eyes set on a school I wish to get into; mainly through a transfer program. I know what I need to do. I need to be patient, and study 2 years here, and hopefully save up to go overseas. I need to take the TOFEL exam, and find a way to pay for it, because I don't own a credit card. Perhaps get approval for a credit card? I also need to find a better paying job, because, while I do enjoy my place of work, it's just not cutting it, for reasons I will not publicly broadcast.

Do I regret being inactive for the past 4 years? No, because without those years, I don't think my heart and mind were set on being serious. I think after countless jobs in these past few years, and working under horrible, tedious and mundane circumstances has finally made me say that I've had enough of this malarkey. I'm ready for my future. I'm ready for a great career. I'm ready to be the star of my own life!

I hope you, dear reader, whomever you may be, also find that sort of a-ha moment in your life! I wish you well, and until the next post, I bid you adieu!

Saturday, August 22, 2015

On Brokenness.

I feel it's very imperative that I hop on my blog, right this instant, and purge my thoughts on the Interwebs.

Recently, I've taken a liking to a YouTuber named Choncey (her channel is Choncey Boddington, I implore you to check her channel out if you are a lover of books), and as I glanced through her website (https://thepetitebritette.wordpress.com/), I read a particular postcard she wrote about not wanting to speak anymore. Why? Because, well, people can be cruel you see, and it breaks my heart because on a day to day basis, I often see so many broken people. Broken, as in emotional and that takes a physical toll on people. It broke my heart to see Choncey so forlorn, because if for one second, she could see through our eyes - those of us who appreciate her, even from afar - she would see that she is not this, sort of, monsterous image she creates of herself, often pondering what it is that she did wrong. Most often, when people spit words of hatred onto us, it is when they are most often vulnerable, and unable to cope with it, spew it onto others. It's a vicious, horrible, ludicrous response, but it's very human.

I feel like everything sort of comes full circle, because I was reading this book - which I have finished reading today; horrah! - called 'Thirteen Reasons Why' by Jay Asher, and it talks about this girl who has commited sucide because she has a certain brokenness inside of her unable to be mended, I feel like this is why it's important to bring to light and be okay with letting your guard down, because you never know whom you might find. Unfortunately for our protagonist in 'Thirteen Reasons Why', she was unable to find that solace, and even though I can be an emotionless robot at times, there is a certain softness to me, and within that realm of slight frailty, I am very aware of brokenness, because I was broken once before too. It's a horrible, counterproductive activity you see, to be so self critical. I am not saying that you are to blame or should feel guilty or whatever else for these emotions, but I wish you could see what others see - those who praise you, and care and are there for you, because at the end of the day, the only people who matter are those who are your cheerleaders, everybody else is white noise.

I wish somebody would have told they were there for me, but the reason for my brokenness was because I felt so alone. I don't know how to mend brokenness, nor do I have the right answers, but I do have the will to be free. Freed from my negativity and freed from my constraints, and it's a daily conscious effort on my part not to bring myself down, and I urge anyone else who is broken to realize that pain is temporary, but every day is a new beginning for us to change our lives. Not everyone who is broken has that opportunity to change their life around, I could have very easily given up, but something within me...somewhere deep inside was a fire waiting to be lit, to ignite that driving force within me. I know for a fact that inside all of us is that fire, just waiting for us to lit it, so I say:
This little light of mine, 
I'm going to let it shine, 
Let it shine, 
Let it shine,
Let it shine.

So shine brightly, because brokenness can be fixed if only we allow ourselves compassion and love for this being that we are. We are all different. That is beautiful and lovely. So shine your light brightly. Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Becoming a Bookworm Again.

I am very much enjoying, and looking forward to getting back into my old habits of reading and typing in my blog (daily, kind of maybe). I stayed awake as long as I could last night, just diving into reading 'Thirteen Reasons Why' (as mentioned in the prior post, it is the book I am currently reading) and I am now half way through with it! I guess it's kind of wonderful that I have yet ANOTHER day off today, which gives me more time to hone in all the craziness of the world and just sit and meditate on what I need to get done.

It was rather wonderful. I fell asleep at about half past one in the A.M. and today I got awoken at around 9 A.M., not bad eh? First thing I do is log back into my Goodreads account. I've decided that I do want to continue pursuing my 'book goals', except not the one I established at the start of 2015, because it might actually become physically impossible to finish reading 45 books in the next 4 and a half months...because of life. Instead, I decided to challenge myself to read 12 books, so that's about 3 books a month, which seems doable if I read during my commute daily. Granted, those books might have to be the read of the books on my TBR pile, but reading is reading right? I am hoping to read more Stephen King, of course, I am eyeing his newest release, "Finder's Keepers" and I just realized I own a copy of "Carrie" that I bought (probably) at the book fair 2 years ago. My TBR list is REALLY, REALLY, backed up, and there's this irritating noise coming from the great outdoors. God, people building these endless, pointless infrastructure, and disturbing MY PEACE. They should get arrested for being annoying. The employers of course, not the employees.

I think I am just going to up and leave, and live in a cottage. At least the only noise then would be woodland creatures and or witches. Which reminds me, that I saw this documentary thing, about this lady who lives in a extreme environment, kind of like an igloo, I forgot the word, and it was something alone the lines of extreme survival or something about trying to prove a point to herself. I'm not sure. OH RIGHT. It was on TLC, it was some program about strange love or whatever, or setting yourself up with the 'right partner'. So technically I lied, it's not a documentary, unless you count The Learning Channel as a source of documentation (which I suppose it is).

Anyway, so I have yet to update my blog about my whole plant-based transition, I have yet to read "The China Study" or anything by Dr. Neal Barnard, which I am eager to read, but those books are ones that I feel you have to digest, so I like to sit with a pen and paper (or rather open Evernote on my computer) and type things of importance.

Listening to Chopin's "Nocturne in E-Flat Major , Op. 9, No. 2" reminds me of my childhood dreams of wanting to learn the piano. I always dreamed that I could, and I'd write beautiful melodies (I also, consequently wanted to become a singer). But obviously, we were too poor to afford it, but no worries, maybe one day in the future!

So what exactly are my plans for today? I was planning on popping by the book store, than making my way by ferry to cross the harbor, than maybe go to eat something for lunch, go to karaoke (possibly) by myself, go to the library and read, also pick up "The Trail" by Kakfa. After all that, then I will stop by Ikea and get some door hooks to hang my bag (because it's cheaper than getting a coat rack...budgeting stuff...boring), and then getting some milk tea with pearl and returning home. Have I used 'and' enough times? That's a rough estimate of my day, and perhaps later, I will update my blog post to write about my endless gap years, as mentioned in prior post. Now it's half past ten and my mother is constantly nagging me. I can't wait to move out. Seriously. I can't wait to live by myself and becoming a homebody, and just read, blog, YouTube and do fun homely things. Who needs people when I can adopt pets?